It's been a while since I've been here. I've been spending lots of time with my youngest daughter, Suzanne and her husband Ray, and his mother Delores.
Ever since Delores had her knee replacement surgery, Ray has taken on the cooking duties, and I have to admit that he is a great cook. He experiments like my son Brian used to do with the taste of food and I have to compliment Ray for all the fine meals he has fixed for us. He doesn't complain at all, he just gets right in the kitchen and begins his magic. Delores has taught him well, although Ray adds his own touches and flavors to the food. We all love Ray's cooking and I always look forward to eating meals there.
When Delores cooks, and she has always prepared her meals from scratch, she always fixed a complete meal. It was like Thanksgiving Dinner every time she cooked. She didn't skimp a bit or cut any corners. We had a full plate, complete with a main dish, two vegetables, bread and dessert. Ray does the same thing. There is no "instant or boxed meals" there, it's all homemade.
Ray sometimes experiments with desserts and cookies too. He finds recipes online and then tries them out. I don't ever have to worry about Suzanne going hungry there. I feel like I'm eating healthy when I eat there, and in fact I have lost a couple of pounds eating right. The one thing that I feel very guilty about, is that I never finish my drink, sometimes only taking a small sip out of a bottle of water and then leaving it sitting where I sat. I always have good intentions of bringing it home with me, but I seen to always forget it there. Next time I go back I'm drinking a small amount of iced tea from a glass so that I don't waste anything. Suzanne always says that Ray makes the best iced tea anyway. I know that I would finish it just as long as it is a small amount.
I only wish that Sharon lived close enough that I could hop in the car and be at her house in 5 minutes. We could do so much together, all of us, but I know she loves being near her children just as much as I like being near mine.
Brandon, Krystal and Ody don't live far, but I don't know exactly where they live or I'd go over there and visit and play with Ody once in a while. I see Brandon on Facebook and am happy to see that he is close to Krystal's large family and that warms my heart, because I know just how much he misses his mom & dad. I wish he still had them and it breaks my heart that he doesn't. Megan & Zac are so lucky to still have their mom, even tho they recently lost their dad. We should all feel blessed and thank God for the family that we still have.
I was checking out my new laptop, which isn't working very well, because I haven't gotten back to my grandson Zac to set it up for me. I haven't tried to use it much since around Christmas. Well anyway, I logged in and checked out Brian's memorial site and I got depressed. Losing Brian, Reva and Sandie just doesn't seem right to me. They were all too young to leave so soon. So instead of dwelling on something that I can't change, I decided to write not knowing what I would say, but as I wrote I made myself feel better talking about my family.
Things with Rick are very good too. The happier that I am, the happier that he is too, and the nicer he is. I'm seeing the truth for the first time.........It's me who has not been happy or satisfied and that projects my feelings at him, and not in a good way. He has been so patient with me for ten years, or has tried his best to please me and I have been the one that has not accepted him completely until now. I seem to have a 10 year trial period on everyone except for Jimmy. Jimmy was so different and so nice. He was one of a kind and that sure didn't make things easier on Rick.
A couple of days ago Rick said that he wanted to buy me a ring for Valentine's Day. He has always wanted to marry me and be closer to me, but I haven't let him. I can't get married, but I can let him feel like my husband and I can tell him how much I love it when he brings me coffee in the mornings, fixes me breakfast and supper. He washes all the dishes without complaining and he loves to make me laugh. He does so many things for me that I don't give him credit for, and in the past all I have written about him are the times when we argue and yell at each other. He's really a nice guy who loves me. I always considered us as just good friends and I didn't ever understand how he expressed emotion until only recently. Thinking back now, I can clearly see how he pursued me and how he got the mistaken notion that I cared about him in a special way. I didn't know his courtship rituals then, and I didn't understand why he would sometimes call me and say the things he said on the phone. I just thought he was weird and didn't give them another thought, but now I understand. It took me 10 years, but as long as he is still here, it's not too late for me to give him all the credit he deserves.
