Thursday, July 20, 2017

Good Morning

I'm feeling much better today and a little more optimistic about things in general and about my friendship with Rick.  Even tho we bicker and argue, the arguments don't last long anymore.  I'm still hearing lectures about my driving and how I don't pay attention as I should to the traffic around me, and how I'm going to get myself killed if I don't start paying more attention.  All that is well and good advice, and I know that to be true, so I'm not being stubborn and arguing back.  I'm listening to Rick, to Suzanne and to the warnings that I've been getting from a higher power that maybe I should either stop riding or start paying more attention to what I'm doing.

I recently got upset at Rick because he didn't ask if I was okay after the SUV slammed into me.  Well why would he? He was there and saw that I was fine, but that my bike wasn't, so of course he would say something about it.  It was brought to my attention that some people once they see that you are okay, will react like Rick did, and that's how they show concern for your safety and well-being.  I have no doubts about how Rick feels about me.  He has to feel something stronger than just pure friendship or he wouldn't put up with my stubbornness, and I can be pretty stubborn and hard headed at times.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

I plan on giving my bike a good bath today

I was so upset with myself after the accident yesterday that I didn't even put my motorcycle away in the building and left it out all  night long.  Rick was nice enough to leave the building unlocked for me when he got home and saw my bike in the driveway, but I only went out, turned off the fan and locked up the building for the night,  This is the first time that I have ever left my bike out overnight, except of course on trips when it was left outside for the entire lengths of our trips (Jimmy & I).

It's supposed to get really hot today, and since my trike is already out, I think I'll wash it.  It hasn't been washed since the last time that Jimmy washed it for me.  He used to take an afternoon and wash both bikes really well.  He washed them often, about once a week or if they got caught in the rain they got washed the next sunny day.  He didn't let the bikes get dusty and dirty like I have.  If Jimmy knew that we were going to ride in the afternoon, he would wash each bike in the morning.  He liked our bikes to be clean when we went out for a ride.  That's just the way he was.  He liked things clean and uncluttered, and so do I.

Accidents Happen

I had a collision with an SUV yesterday, but that won't stop me from riding.  I was thankfully not hurt seriously as could have happened when a motorcycle collides with an SUV.  I am a little sore here and there, but there are no broken bones.  

The man in the SUV was very nice and since he had a green light on the main road, which is the Eastern By-pass, he of course, I assume,  had the right of way....oh, he was also on a side street crossing straight thru the Eastern By-pass to where I was.  I was on a side street and had come up to a 3 way stop.  I stopped looked all four ways and saw nothing but 3-4 cars on my right stopped for a red light going onto the bypass.  The other 3 intersections were clear with no cars.  I was going straight across.  The green light wasn't visible to me as it was across on the Eastern By-pass and also the 4 cars that were stopped at the red light were blocking my view of the oncoming SUV.  The driver of the SUV also said that the 4 stopped cars were also blocking his view as I proceeded straight ahead after I had stopped.  He came straight across Eastern By-pass from another road on the other side of the bypass.  He hit me broadside on my right back fender and made the bike wobble as if it were going to topple over.  I must have turned my front wheel in the right direction as I kept the bike upright, it wobbled a bit, but  came to a stop.  If I had seen the SUV I would have never gone across, but I didn't, and if I had seen it about to hit me I would have given my bike more gas, sped up and missed being hit, but it caught me by surprise.  The SUV also didn't see me and didn't have time to apply his brakes until after the collision.  

It was clearly an accident and I didn't leave the house planning on running into an SUV.  I wasn't driving carelessly either and I stopped at every stop sign and looked before I proceeded, but you can't tell that to everyone who assumes that everything that accidentally happens to me is on purpose, as if they have never made any mistakes in their lives.  I didn't need to be re-primanded right after the wreck.  What I needed was someone to ask me if I was okay and not hurt.  I needed someone to comfort me and tell me that they were glad that I wasn't hurt, but instead I had to hear how I "dented up the fender" (that they had worked so hard to paint I know), and "if I would have been more careful the bike wouldn't have gotten hit."  I was clearly aware of my dented fender and I felt bad that it happened, but it's just a material possession that can be replaced.  My life cannot be replaced! and that should have been the main concern.

The fender wasn't bent against the tire so I was able to ride the bike over to McDonald's.  I went inside and got us two cups for water, but then when I went to sit down at the table I was immediately bombarded with, "I saw you both, and both of you didn't even look where you were going," and that's all it took.  I turned around, told him I was going home and I went on home without him.  We didn't speak to each other the whole night and we are still not talking this morning, and all because I put a dent in the fender which he had worked so hard painting.  I knew that and I felt really bad about that. 

Accidents happen, but I have had 4 accidents in the last 2 years, all minor, but maybe it's time for me to give up and head for the safety of the rocking chair.  Knowing me the rocking chair would break and I would get blamed for being too heavy and fat, while lying there with a broken hip.

How much does it take for me to just go ahead and admit that someone doesn't care dingle squat about me, only for the toys I have.  I want to give him a chance, but it's been over a year now and he still doesn't care dingle squat about me. 

I have to admit that he called me on his way to work this morning to ask me if I had left my bike out all night and also wanted to know if I had locked up the building last night.  He gave me his ground rules about riding from now on, and also told me that I am very stubborn.  It wasn't a pleasant conversation and only one to belittle me once more, and not to ask how I was feeling.  Well at least now I know that if I want to go riding by myself I am free to do so now.  There are many times when I want to just go riding to visit Jimmy, or just to talk to God as I ride.  I'm not one who needs someone to ride with although having someone along makes the ride more fun.   

Going from having someone who was very positive and optimistic all the time (Jimmy), to someone who is filled with negativity 24/7  stinks.  I can't understand how someone can be filled with so much hate for everyone, even strangers.  There is no pleasing a person like that.  They want things, you buy them and it's not enough, they're still full of criticism about the gift.  For once it would be nice to get a genuinely happy smile, and a thank you after you buy them a gift.   He expects me to give 200% with his contribution at less than 10%.  I wouldn't complain normally, but this is all getting to me and causing me much physical as well as mental pain.  The stress is too much and making me physically ill.  It's getting harder and harder to cope with someone who is so negative all the time.