Thursday, January 12, 2017

Good Morning

Today is another overcast day with some expected rain, but right now at 9:00 a.m. it is a balmy 63 degrees which isn't bad for a January winter morning.

I've been spending my days playing cards with friends, which helps to spend the time in a very enjoyable way.  We eat, drink pop, coffee and play Rummy.  As of late, someone very close to me has taken up the interest of playing checkers, so we are looking for a very inexpensive checkerboard.  The old fashioned 1960 vintage red and black Crown plastic checkers are on their way, and my friend is attempting to make a checkerboard.  We'll see how that goes.

I'm thankful, especially thankful this morning for this new day that God has granted me to live, and to do better.  Sometimes I'm short tempered.  I have a short fuse, but I'm getting better at not letting things worry me so much.  I used to lose sleep over things that don't amount to a hill of beans, but now these same things just roll off my back.  For that I thank God for helping me cope.  I also thank God for my good health and for the good health of others and also those that are not so blessed with good health.  I say a prayer for those and for everyone who needs prayer.

My life, since the death of my husband Jimmy, hasn't rolled on the right track and got detoured somewhere along the line, but I think I'm finally back on the right track heading in the right direction again, or so it seems to be.  We just never know do we?  Anyway, whatever direction I'm heading in, I'm going to enjoy it to its fullest.  

Sunday, January 08, 2017

I was looking over my previous posts and noticed that everything that I have been posting is pretty negative and you would think that I am an unhappy person.  I'm not unhappy and I guess I only post here lately when I have something negative to say.  I'm going to have to change this and post pictures of what I've been doing lately, and all the happy times I have.  There has been more happiness in my life lately, but I do have to admit that it is sprinkled with negative thoughts at times.
I must really be such an ugly, awful, and pathetic person that nobody wants to be seen with me, or in my company in public places.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Have you ever been with someone who drives you to drink?  If so, then you are better off without them.

Monday, December 19, 2016

It's time to make lemonade.....

Good Afternoon!  I am here all alone watching The Rifleman.  I like these old Westerns that I remember watching as a child in black n white before color TV.  There was something simple about these old shows, and they always had a moral to teach you.  The good guys always won, and the bad guys lost, showing that it never pays to do bad things to others.

It's not very warm here, but it's not snowy, nor icy either, so that's good.  My heat is on and I'm toasty warm, have plenty of food to eat and my faucet isn't frozen so I have plenty of water to drink.  I feel blessed.

I'm not letting anything bother me anymore.  I'll take whatever life throws at me, and just learn to handle it or make something good come out of it.  Just like when someone says to you, that if you get lemons, make lemonade.  That's what I'm going to do with my life......make lemonade.


Sunday, December 18, 2016

HUMBUG

Before October 10, 2014 Christmas used to be my favorite holiday. I looked forward to family coming over and all of us celebrating Christmas day together.  Jimmy and I would go shopping for all the kids and grandchildren and we were looking forward to the new wave of great-grandchildren that were on the way.  Everything changed on Oct. 10th of that year and the joy has never returned.  Maybe one day I will feel different, but this year it is no different, there is no joy in my heart.

How can I tear down this wall I've put up?

I shut myself off from everyone who loved me when my husband Jimmy died, and only allowed myself to befriend strangers who knew nothing of Jimmy.  I couldn't bear to be around anyone who reminded me of what I had lost, so I created a brand new life for myself with new people.
  
I wasn't fortunate enough to be able to move away from the house that we shared, but at one time I got really close to buying a new home and moving away from all the memories we shared.  I've stopped running and I do spend a lot of time at home these days, and believe it or not, I am trying to make some improvements around this house.  

Only someone who has lost a loved one can understand how I felt and how I still feel over such a great loss.  I wish I could go back to a time when I felt nothing but happiness everyday.  It was easy with Jimmy.  He was an easy person to get along with and he loved me unconditionally, as much as I loved him.  

I have very good memories of those days spent with him, but I'm still feeling the loss so immensely that I can't move on with anyone else.

Why are some people so rude?

There has only been one other man in my life who excluded me when doing laundry or cooking a meal and that was Delbert.  One day, when it was his turn to do laundry he separated all of our clothes and left mine behind when he went to the laundromat,  so that when I got off work there were my dirty clothes still in the basket while his clothes were all clean and put away.  I never excluded his laundry when I went to do laundry.

Today, and one other day someone got up, cooked breakfast for only themselves and didn't even ask me if I wanted any.  I thought this was very rude especially since they are staying at my house.  I never exclude them or have I ever excluded anyone if I was fixing something to eat.

Why are some people so rude?