Saturday, April 23, 2016

Steve and I are FRIENDS

I'm awake, I had a cup of coffee which I let get cold while writing an email to my friend Gail in Florida.  It's early and I got a good nights sleep last night.

My day yesterday started out at 2:00 a.m., then at 4:00 a.m. I picked up Steve, then on to Rosie's house to get her.  Rosie had a cat scan appointment at U.K. Medical Center, a very early appointment.  Steve and I had a nice visit while we waited for Rosie.

After I took both of them home, I came home myself and relaxed for a couple of hours, before Steve called me and we went walking at Walmart and then on the college track.  We ended the day sitting on my front porch talking and then I drove him home.  I'm glad that Steve and I can be friends after all that we have been through.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

No, today isn't any better than yesterday.  At least I woke up in a good mood today, but it's gone now.  I can't seem to find anything that will cheer me up.  Spending all this time alone isn't helping either.  I don't seem to want to go out anywhere.  Practically everything that I own is broken and needs repair.  Oh, how I miss having a man around the house.  Jimmy used to take care of everything mechanical.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

It's been a weird day today.  I didn't feel like going anywhere and I didn't until around 8:30 p.m. when I decided to go get a couple packs of Jenni O turkey hotdogs, two bags of popcorn cheese puffs, and two small blocks of colby cheese, for a total of $10.  Those are my groceries for the week.

Ever have days when you don't know what to do?  There's plenty to do, but I just didn't want to do anything.  I didn't even want to move.  I just wanted to sit, play games on my laptop, and look at Facebook.

Thank goodness it's night and this day is over.  Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Some of the nicest people I know

Monday, April 18, 2016

The waiting ended

I've always heard that if someone loves you, set them free and then just wait to see if they return or not.  Last week he returned, but this time I am wiser and I know that I will be hurt again, so I agreed to be friends.  I can't stand the stress of having an enemy.  It's just not in my nature to be enemies or unkind to anyone, so forgiving him and taking him back as a friend seemed the only descent thing to do.  For an entire year I tried to be his girlfriend.  I gave it my best shot but he still always left me, returning sometimes in a few days, but this last time it took a month, so I am a bit gun shy now.

Things have changed.  Circumstances have changed, but mostly I have changed.  I'm not the same trusting person that I was.  I've been hurt too many times by the same person who just doesn't realize how much he really hurt me this last time.  So for me there is no getting back together like before, because I don't ever want to feel that pain of a broken heart again.  I'll be friends and I'll do things with him if he asks, only because I can't turn the love off just like that, but it's not the same now.  Something has died in me that I don't think I can ever recover.