Friday, September 25, 2015

Cucoo on my birthday

Happy Belated Birthday to Me

Yesterday was my birthday and I got comments and calls from all my family & friends, but what I didn't get turned out to be an eye opening event into how much someone really cares about me......
or doesn't care about me.  That's all I have to say about that.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Truck n Tractor Pull

I went to a truck and tractor pull last night and it was very enjoyable.  I ran into Tori, Mandy and Carson there sitting on the top row of the bleachers about middle ways in the track.  I sat down next to them and introduced them to my two friends, Steve and Rick.  I had forgotten that everyone except for Mandy had already met my two friends.

I am doing some of the things that are new to me and that I had never done before in my life.  The drag races are next on my list of things to do.  

I had a baby Siamese kitten asleep on my chest, but it is now awake and is very annoyingly trying to stomp on the keys of my laptop as I type.  It's after my cursor.

The house is quiet here today.  Steve and I walked around at the Spoon Bread Festival today and talked with many friends & relatives that we saw there.   We stopped at one point and sat in a big tent and listened to some live Bluegrass Music.   Thank goodness the kitten has calmed back down and is once again asleep.

My legs are feeling a bit restless right now, so I need to get up and walk around a little more.  It's too bad that I am going to disturb the kitten just when it has gone back to sleep.  

Saturday, September 12, 2015

It's a much better morning

Good Morning World....
Am I getting used to my new existence?  Maybe so, and maybe not.  It just might be a better day today.  Its been either raining or drizzling all morning outside.  Well of course outside.  Where else would it be raining except in my heart, but I expect I will shed tears for the rest of my life which shouldn't be too much longer.  I mean that I'm a senior citizen, and reaching the end sooner than a young person, that's all.

I'm listening to music as usual.  My house is fairly clean and all the cats are outside except for two.  I made myself a cheese omelette for breakfast this morning, and around 5:00 a.m. I had two cups of coffee.  I'm also washing up all the cat beds and blankets getting them ready for the Winter.  Today the temperature is in the 60's reminding me that Winter will be here quicker than I would like it.  It's not even Fall yet either. 

I have an eye appointment next week, and I hope that it will be my final appointment for a while.  My eyes are all healed up.  In dim light I still need glasses to read fine print, but in sunlight and bright light I'm fine and I don't have any problem reading.

I'm missing all of my family.  I've become very distant from everyone this past year because of learning to cope with my new life.  I haven't fit in anywhere in anyone's life.  I've had to find my own way, and I'm still searching for that way.  I have my doubts if I will ever find my way again, or find someone special to share the rest of my life with.  I thought I had, but I was wrong, and I fear that no one will ever be able to replace what I had with Jimmy......or even come close.

Friday, September 11, 2015

I don't remember what day it was. All I know is that I fell in love with you.....etc

I don't even know one day from the next any more, and the way I see it, it doesn't really matter does it?  I rearranged the living room last night and I tried carrying my ratty recliner out the door, but it wouldn't fit.  We got it in here but two carried it, so I guess it will take two people to carry it out.  The living room looks so much roomier and not so cluttered up now.  I got rid of three pieces of furniture in the living room and I like my new spacious look.  I don't have much company these days so it's just me that I have to please.

I have a new kitten named Little Harley because he looks just like big Harley.  Little Harley is very needy and wants to be wherever I am.  If I'm sleeping, he is by my side.  If I'm emailing or blogging, he is on top of me wanting my attention.  He purrs up a storm too, and if I curl up my hands or arms he goes right to sleep in them, but like some babies he wakes up just as soon as I try to type again.  I've put all the cats out except for Squeak the calico, but she can go out if she wants to.  Little Harley is the only cat not allowed outside unsupervised.  

It's nice and peaceful here now that I have quit crying.  I read my brother Dennis' comment on the video in the previous post and it made me cry.  Of course when I posted it I was crying, but I was fine by this morning until I read his comment and listened to the video again.

I can't stop thinking about Jimmy and how lonely it is here without him.  He would have been proud of me the other day when I pushed mowed the entire yard from the bank out front to the creek out back.  Of course if he would have been here the riding mower blades would have been fixed, and I wouldn't of had to push mow the whole yard, but I must say that it was rather enjoyable and gave me something to do for about four hot hours.  

Getting back to Jimmy.....
Like the country song The Dance by Garth Brooks says, (don't quote me)  "I could of missed the pain, but I would of had to miss the dance."  And I wouldn't have missed that dance with Jimmy for any amount of money or treasures that anyone could have ever offered me.

Thursday, September 10, 2015 NEED YOU NOW

I've been thinking about you.......

Why did you have to die and leave me here all alone?  It's not fair that I have to be here without you.  I miss you so much Honey!  No matter how much I try, I can't find anyone to take your place.  They always fall short, and it seems that I need two men to take your place, and that doesn't work well because someone always gets jealous.  I miss you so much that I can't stand it!  It's almost been a year now without you (Oct. 10) and a moment doesn't go by that I'm not thinking about you and missing you.