Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Unwanted & Abandoned Pets

My brother, Tomas, just brought it to my attention that there seems to be a theme going on at the moment on certain blogs, which involve pets.

Since I am a collector of abandoned, unwanted pets...I thought I would jump right into the bandwagon and add my 2 cents, since I also seem to have, an invisible sign in my front yard that says,

"Please Drop All Your Unwanted & Abandoned Cats Here."

Motherkitty's sign reads, "All Cats Welcome."

And Somershade's heavenly sign reads, "Beware of Friendly Animals."

In reality, the seven cats at our house, have a beautiful cat house equipped with a maid and a butler, who are at their service 24/7...taking care of their every whim...the purr fect set-up.

The Four Bears in the Woods are also rescuers of unwanted pets. They have several cats and Rusty, their dog. They live on a quiet, wooded country road, perfect for those pet-drops, that people often make after they tire of their pets. So, the Four Bears will be blessed with pets for the rest of their lives.

Peanut, my step-daughter & Laura are also pet rescuers. They try to find good homes for abandoned & unwanted animals, but when they can't....they keep the pets. They have a housefull of pets, too numerous to mention.

Laura is responsible for the following...She sent it to me and I think that all you pet lovers can relate and find it funny, but true:

Letter to Dogs and Cats

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.(That's why they call it "fur"niture .)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, and does not speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: eat less,don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes , don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

20 comments:

Tomas Dennis said...

I have this red brush from "Helmac" when you rub on cloth and upholstery one way it catches lint and when you rub it the other way on your hand the lint comes off the brush.
Here is a photo of the brush at this website:
http://www.earthcommerce.com/PD/31/002003650231.html
Go To Brush Photo

Motherkitty said...

This was absolutely hilarious. I loved that letter! Oh, so true. Thanks for posting this and the links to our sites.

Thanks also for your comments on my posts. I added a comment about the date on the last one.

Andi said...

I need that brush - jack russell. Hysterical! I think my dog wrote that letter.

LZ Blogger said...

This line is classic! "The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! Other cute stuff here as well! ~ jb///

somershade said...

I love it, great.I love the Fur-niture one.
We have a king size bed But princess our cat has to sleep on the pillow with you like alittle human. She is our child.
And she has to be right on top of you everywhere you go.needy-kitty

Rachel said...

I loved this!! It's all so true! I really liked the part about the king size bed! I wish I had one because I could use the extra space!!

manababies said...

Oh how I miss having a pet. My husband is very allergic to cats, yet he put up with "Rocket the Hell Cat" for many years. I've never owned a dog but look forward to adding one to our brood one day. Something sort of big and imposing would be nice :)

doubleknot said...

Thank you - I had a very good laugh this morning. All of that is sooo true.
Our cat is a little independent and since he chose us of course he owns us.
On my size P crochet hook it has millemeters rather then a number but I coundn't find one anywhere. Jo Ann's offered to order one special for me but it would have cost more then what I paid on ebay even with the postage.

bornfool said...

I especially like the four rules posted on the door. lol.
I've always liked my pets better than most people.

Carolyn said...

I loved this! I, too, have rescued dogs and cats. My 2 dogs & 1 of 2 cats are from shelters, and the other cat was dropped on me 3 Halloween's ago. I love 'em!

Everything pointed out in the "letter" reminds me of my latest new pup, Daisy, lol!

P.S. I see you're in KY. I'm next door here in WV ;)

Sue said...

Cute letter to the pets!
Now has anyone figured out how to teach them to read?

TUFFENUF said...

Funny post. There are two kinds of people in the world, animal lovers and (who cares about the others!) I leave the TV on when I am away from home, so my dogs won't be lonely. They like to watch Animal Planet.

cher said...

this was a brilliant letter- loved it...thanks so much for sharing it.

Tropical Screamer said...

Tigger is purring in approval. :)

Darilyn

The Witness said...

Wanted to say thanks for the info. I do everything the hard way it seems. I am new at this and believe me this is all new and kinda scary to me. With a little patience maybe I can figure it all out.
Also wanted to say, it seem you have a very talented family of writers, you are all blessed.

somershade said...

Is Cucoo a pet?
Or does Cucoo think we are.

doubleknot said...

Thank you, thank you, I will watch for your email - I know I can do it I just don't understand how.

Franny said...

That's the BEST! We have a fish and a bird, so no cats...for now...

Merle said...

Hi Margo ~~ Your pets and strays must keep you very busy.
I am glad you enjoy the jokes and other
items on Herons Nest. I am glad that you get some laughter from them.
Cheers, Merle.
ps Did you see te Housework one on Granny's blog?

Paige said...

Too funny!