Wednesday, September 27, 2006

In a trial document

I just received this word document in my email and I thought it was so funny that I wanted to share it with you. The names have been changed to protect the innocent...but I think you can recognize her from her picture...
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In a trial, a Southern small-town
prosecuting attorney called his first witness—a
Grandmotherly, elderly woman—to the stand. He
approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you
Know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you,
Mr. Smith. I’ve known you since you were a young
Boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment
to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind
their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you
haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount
to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes,
I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing
what else to do, he pointed across the room
and asked, “And, Mrs. Jones, do you know the
defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve
known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.
He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the worst in the
entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife
with three different women—one of them was your
wife. Yes. I know him.”

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench. In a very quiet voice he said,
“If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll
send you to the electric chair!”

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

You beat me to it with this one Sandy, now I'll have to wait a while before I publish it as we share some readers.
Now you should go all the way and transfer your blog to Beta, then you can show us your talents properly in colour and other areas.

PEA said...

LOL I loved this..too funny!

Hattigrace said...

Ah, laughter is good for the soul!!!

Anonymous said...

LOL That is too funny. :)

jellyhead said...

brilliant!!!

Tammy said...

ROFLMBO...I had a Ky grandma that was just this outspoken...I swore one day I would be that way myself...but I found you atract more bee's with honey than vinegar...hehe!!

ipanema said...

this is hilarious! :)

somershade said...

Funny! reminds me of this girl I heard gossipping about another girl and she said, well it's the truth and I told her ,please don't be going around telling the truth about me,ouch!

Rachel said...

Very funny Sandy!! LOL

Kerri said...

Hilarious joke Sandy :) My hubby read it and through his laughter he said, "Oh I love 'Abandoned', (as he calls you), she's great!"
So you see, you have an admirer up here in NY. :)
The picture of Maxine is a nice touch.

slap me happy said...

loved it, well done. It is always nice to start the morning with some giggles lol