Tuesday, January 08, 2008

TAXES

I don’t know how long ago this email forward was written, but it was composed by someone after the levy’s broke in New Orleans. Mind you, I’m not against taxes just as long as they aren’t coming out of my paycheck, hehehe. No, that’s not true. I always paid my fair share of taxes and never minded doing so. Taxes are just a natural part of my life…like breathing or eating or vomiting.

I was too lazy to re-type this, so it’s just as I received it with one exception…I deleted a sentence or two that bordered on discrimination, but I know you won’t even miss that part anyway. I liked learning what a billion is, and to think that a billion seconds ago I was in 1959 and some of you weren’t even born yet. And how about being on the scene a billion minutes ago??? But how scary is 8 hours and 20 minutes ago. Read and find out.

Here’s the email written by my favorite author ( almost in its entirety) : A.Unknown

> This is too true to be very funny
>
> The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual
> manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax
> money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one
advertising
> agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in
one
> of its releases.
>
> A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
>
> B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
>
> C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
>
> D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
>
> E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate
our
> government is spending it.
>
>
> While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New
> Orleans It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.
> Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress
for
> $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number, what does it
> mean?
>
> A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man,
> woman, child), you each get $516,528.
>
> B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home
gets
> $1,329,787.
>
> C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.
>
> Washington, D.C... HELLO!!! ... Are all your calculators broken??
> Tax his land,
> Tax his wage,
> Tax his bed in which he lays.
> Tax his tractor,
> Tax his mule,
> Teach him taxes is the rule.
> Tax his cow,
> Tax his goat,
> Tax his pants,
> Tax his coat.
>
> Tax his ties,
> Tax his shirts,
> Tax his work,
> Tax his dirt.
>
> Tax his tobacco,
> Tax his drink,
> Tax him if he tries to think.
>
> Tax his booze,
> Tax his beers,
> If he cries,
> Tax his tears.
>
> Tax his bills,
> Tax his gas,
> Tax his notes,
> Tax his cash.
>
> Tax him good and let him know
> That after taxes, he has no dough.
>
> If he hollers,
> Tax him more,
> Tax him until he's good and sore.
>
> Tax his coffin,
> Tax his grave,
> Tax the sod in which he lays.
> Put these words upon his tomb,
> 'Taxes drove me to my doom!'
>
> And when he's gone,
> We won't relax,
> We'll still be after the inheritance TAX!!
> Accounts Receivable Tax
> Building Permit Tax
> CDL License Tax
> Cigarette Tax
> Corporate Income Tax
> Dog License Tax
> Federal Income Tax
> Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
> Fishing License Tax
> Food License Tax
> Fuel Perm it Tax
> Gasoline Tax
> Hunting License Tax
> Inheritance Tax
> Inventory Tax
> IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),
> IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),
> Liquor Tax,
> Luxury Tax,
> Marriage License Tax,
> Medicare Tax,
> Property Tax,
> Real Estate Tax,
> Service charge taxes,
> Social Security Tax,
> Road Usage Tax (Truckers),
> Sales Taxes,
> Recreational Vehicle Tax,
> School Tax,
> State Income Tax,
> State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),
> Telephone Federal Excise Tax,
> Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax,
> Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax,
> Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax,
> Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,
> Telephone State and Local Tax,
> Telephone Usage Charge Tax,
> Utility Tax,
> Vehicle License Registration Tax,
> Vehicle Sales Tax,
> Watercraft Registration Tax,
> Well Permit Tax,
> Workers Compensation Tax.
>
> STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
> Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
> and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
> We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in
> the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
>
> What happened? Can you spell ‘politicians??’
>
> What the heck happened?????

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I had to go yesterday and pay my city taxes which did not get withheld last year during the strike...they needed $26 from me...I don't complain though as our roads are always kept very nice during the winter and repaired on a regular basis in the summer.

Fingers crossed that we get a refund this year
*wink* a gabillion would be nice!

TUFFENUF said...

Boy, Sandy, that was scary! Thing about how much the politicians are spending just to get our vote. Then all of them will have business as usual - and MORE taxes!

Peter said...

Thats a frightening list of taxes Sandy,I'm particularly concerned about; Federal unemployment tax, Food license tax, fuel permit tax, Marriage license tax, State unemployment tax, And what about 7 different Telephone taxes???? I think we have some version or another of just about all the other here in Australia.
The cost of progress Huh!!!