Thursday, February 25, 2010

Cowboy

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sun glasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his CingularRAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government," says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...

this is a Herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.

* * * * * * * *

Ron, thanks for the joke. I thought I'd post it here so everyone could laugh as hard as Jimmy and I did when we read it.

6 comments:

Rachel said...

Loved it!!!

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I loved the joke and every time I read it I have to chuckle out loud...not necessarily because he was a government employee but just because he didn't know the difference between cows, sheep and a dog.

somershade said...

funny stuff.Speaking of tech stuff.Megan and zac can feed each other live video from their phones.While zac is filming something,meg can see it from her phone live and visa versa.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Somershade...that's really neat. I wonder if Megan can save Zac's video while he's feeding it to her phone???

Kerri said...

That one always brings a chuckle :)
We are cleaning up after the big snowstorm yesterday. It was our turn to get dumped on this time. We've had it fairly easy this winter up 'til now. The snow I waded through was deep (half way up my calf) walking to the barn this morning. Now we have bright sunshine and it's beautiful out there!
Did you get any snow?

Alipurr said...

that one is funny, makes me laugh every time