Sunday, June 26, 2016

How did this happen?

One night we are out on a hilltop on a stormy night watching the storm move across the sky and just having the best time ever, and the next we are not talking to each other.

On Friday I got my feelings hurt and some things were said that I just couldn't brush off as easily as I should have.  Then as a result of things said, I retreated into my own little world of self pity on Saturday and I didn't come back to earth until Sunday morning.  I can't take criticism as well as I should, and especially when it is repeated over and over and pounded into my head so much that it makes me feel bad about myself.  I'm really a good person and I wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone on purpose, so it is very hard for me to understand why someone would want to say things to hurt me all the time.  They do it in jest and think it's funny, but after a while some of the joking gets out of hand and all it takes is that one thing said that hits a nerve and really hurts.  I can't help it, but I have feelings and I'm easily hurt.

Sometime yesterday he left while I was in my own little world of self pity hiding out in my bedroom.  He didn't say goodbye, just left quietly without a word.  I hope he can forgive me for ignoring him because he doesn't even know what happened.  He doesn't even know that he hurt my feelings, and that I spent hours in my bedroom crying.  He has no clue as to what happened.  Only that I retreated into my bedroom and stopped talking to him, but he didn't bother to ask me what was wrong either.  Maybe he knew that he had gone to far or maybe not.  I just hope that he didn't jump into any wrong conclusions and that he calls me sometime soon.  After all, we are just good friends, and good friends always come back.

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