Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday ended 2 minutes ago, and it ended like the last 3 Easter Sunday's have ended, on a sad note.  

I am again awake during the midnight and wee hours of every morning for the last 3 nights.  I am disappointed at how my days end and have been disappointed in them since last year (2016).  The days are fine, and I do have fun, don't get me wrong, but it's the nights which are the loneliest and the longest to get through.  I miss having a husband and someone to love, and someone who will love me back.  We all deserve to be happy and to be treated with respect, but that doesn't always happen.

I guess I'm just expecting too much out of life these days, and I'm not getting what I need in return, so I've quit trying to please anyone else.  It's going to be all about pleasing myself from now on, and thinking of only what is best for me, and not what is best for someone else.  That doesn't work and is not working for me.

I've gotten mixed signals for the last 10 months.  They care and they don't care, it changes from day to day.  I'm through playing games, because I was never one to play games in the first place.  You are either with me or you're not.  There is no in-between.