Missing Reva Hatcher

 I love playing a game called, Words with Friends  

and I will play with anyone now, but for several years I played this daily game with my daughter-in-law, Reva Hatcher.  

Reva is gone now and everyday as I play with strangers online, I can't help but think of Reva and how much I miss her.  

Reva was a daily presence in my life and as long as she played Words with me I knew that she was fine.  Occasionally Reva would be admitted to the hospital for various reasons and on those days when she didn't respond to a game I knew that something was wrong, and I would call or text her and Gloria, her friend, would always respond and tell me that Reva was sick or in the hospital.

After Brian died Reva and I texted quite a bit, but our texting waned over time.  I asked Reva about this and she told me that I made her more depressed because I reminded her too much about Brian and how much she missed him.  I completely understood what she meant and what she was feeling because I went through the same feelings each time that I was around my own family.  My family was just too much of a reminder of what I had lost, so I avoided them, because it hurt so bad.  I eventually got over this feeling, but in the meantime several years had gone by to my surprise.  Now that I want my family around, they have moved on and are busy living their own lives.  I missed a lot of family time and getting to know my great-grandchildren.  It's funny, or maybe I should say, sad, how a death of a loved one can change so much of your life.

Getting back to Reva.......So instead of talking or texting too much after Brian died we kept in touch through playing Words with Friends together.  Reva and I had played Words for several years before Brian's death.  We started playing the game from the games first beginnings on Facebook, so of course I think of her everyday as I click on the Words icon app on my cell phone.  I don't just miss playing Words with her, I miss her in every way just as I miss my son and Jimmy.  

Brian's Charlie Brown Christmas Tree

 I don't know if I ever mentioned this little Christmas tree of Brian's before, but if I didn't here it is.  

 

It's a little hard to see, but if you look real hard you can see it in the center of the picture.  I had bought it for Brian for his first Christmas alone in his apartment on Joshua Circle in Berea in 2019.  It was a very small live little table tree with just 2 Christmas ornaments on it.  Brian loved it! and took very good care of it.  

During the Spring of 2020 it sprouted new growth, so when it got warm enough outside, Brian set it out on his front porch.  Brian thought that the little tree's new growth shriveled up and died because it got cold outside, so he trimmed off the dead and cared for it tenderly.  It never got back to normal even tho it grew a little more, but Brian did his best to spoil the little tree with plenty of tender loving care and Miracle Grow.  Brian even transplanted it into a bigger pot.  

The little tree survived, but when Brian passed away, Suzanne wanted his little tree, and Carson quickly named it, Charlie, for its pathetic appearance.  Suzanne cared for Charlie and tried to nurse it back to health for Brian, from November 2020 until the Spring of 2021 when she had decided to put the little transplanted tree outdoors.  She soon found out that it wasn't the cold that had killed the new growth when Brian put his little tree outside.  Charlie doesn't like direct sunlight.

Suzanne was going to place Charlie near Brian's grave, but there is too much sunlight there for Charlie, so she found a shady spot near Delores and Orville's old barn and planted Charlie there where she can care for it.  Charlie seems to be thriving I suspect now that he is planted firmly in the earth and not in a pot.  And he's in a shady spot too.

I'm just assuming that these little trees are shade loving trees or they wouldn't do so well indoors for such a long time.  Charlie thrived as long as he was indoors when Brian had him, and tried to get back to health for Suzanne just as long as he was indoors of course.  The tag on his little pot said that he could be planted outside in full sun.....Not so for Charlie.

I haven't heard that Charlie died, so I'm assuming that he is thriving or doing well in his new shady home in the fertile ground by the old barn.  We have lots of things that remind us of Brian, and now when Suzanne peers from her deck down to the old horse barn, she is reminded of Brian when she sees Charlie.

Remembering my Son

Brian and his apartment flowers

 Even tho Brian had very limited space to grow flowers at his small apartment, in the Spring of 2020 I drove him to Walmart and to Lowes and he bought some plants, and also two tomato plants.  I don't have a picture of his mature tomato plants, nor do I have mature pictures of all of his flowers, but I'll show you what I do have.

Brian loved his flowers and took very good care of them.  He also had a beautiful palm tree and a little tiny live Christmas tree that didn't much like the outdoors when put out.  Suzanne ended up with Brian's Christmas tree which Carson named "Charlie" short for a Charlie Brown tree, because of the way it looked.  Suzanne nursed Charlie back to health during the winter months and had planned to plant it near Brian's grave, but once again when Charlie was put outside the little tree didn't like it.  I'm sure that I have a picture of Charlie somewhere but at the moment I can't find it.  The palm tree in the picture below was bitten by a cold snap and had to be trimmed.

These are only pictures of the flowers that Brian had at his apartment and of course I have included also a couple of pictures of Brian at his apartment.  The young lady, Sharon, who lived next door to Brian wanted to keep Brian's flowers and care for them after Brian's death so we let her have them along with the flower boxes.  I wish that I would have kept his most prized flower but I was too distraught at the time to even think of flowers.

This is the view from his chair where he would sit and wait for me to arrive.

This was his prized flower.  

Brian loved the different colored blooms that it had.  

I should have kept it.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Brian

sitting in front of his apartment.

He was getting stronger and healthier and starting

to enjoy life again.

This is Brian and his scooter when he first bought it new.  He removed the little trunk behind the seat right away.  I failed to get a picture of it when he finished rebuilding it.  He changed it so much and made it his very own adding his personality to it, full of bells & whistles.  He had completely torn it apart and added so many extras to it including two alarm systems, a wifi system with speakers so that he could hear his music and answer his cell phone hands free.  He installed extra lights, painted parts of it different colors and put two large eagles with wings that looked like the American flag on each side where it once read VIP.  He made his scooter beautiful and like no other.  There are many more changes that he did, but they are too numerous to mention here.  His scooter was a 150cc which he made into a 170cc and he rebuilt the whole engine and it's inner workings.  I told him that he should just have bought himself an old used scooter to rebuild, instead of a brand new scooter that ran perfectly.  He just laughed at me and told me how much fun he was having rebuilding it and that it gave him something to do, like a hobby.  He rode it for a while until he discovered a small oil drip so he once again tore his scooter apart and fixed the leak.  Unfortunately Brian got sick and died unexpectedly before he was able to put the plastic parts back together.  He also had to buy a larger capacity or maybe a stronger battery to accommodate all the changes that he made.  The new battery sat on the floor next to his scooter when I found him in his apartment on that horrible day.  It's a day I will never forget.

Scattered Thunder Showers

It's gonna be rainy all week long, so I'm settled in and I'm watching Netflix movies.  I just got done with, "i am Sam."  That was a real tear-jerker and funny too.  All the characters really played their parts really well in this movie.  It was so good I watched it twice.

Suzanne texted over a Youtube video link of B.J. Thomas and Raindrops keep falling on my head.  It's a very fitting song for today and for the rest of the week.  I always loved this song.

There's not much going on in my life today.  I'm okay and sometimes I even feel that I'm walking better.  It seems that by late afternoon I can walk without the use of a cane lately, but not everyday, but more days than before......so that's an improvement.

Here it is June 7, 2021 and I finally turned off the pilot light to my natural gas fireplace this morning.  This has been a really weird year.  It was very cold, then very hot and now it is in the upper 70's and 80's finally.  I don't think that we need any more heat for now.  It'll be summer in just a couple of weeks from now anyway.  

Rick is at his place trying to get his mower going.  He called me earlier and said that he needs two new front tires for his old new looking riding mower.  He's going to weed-eat some too while he is there.  I didn't think that he had much weed-eating to do but he said that he did, and he knows best about his yard.  I haven't been able to help him much since I hurt my back.....well, not so much my back as my sciatic nerve in my left leg, but sometimes my back feels a little stiff too.

I try not to cry over Brian being gone so much, but it hits me in waves and I can't help it, so  I write in my blog.  I try to post something everyday to make myself feel better, and to sound cheerful.  Sometimes it works, but every time I pass by his apartment I can't help but feel sad that he is no longer with us.  I know it's crazy, but sometimes I feel like stopping by his apartment and asking the fella that now lives in there if I can come in, but that's crazy, so I don't dare do that.  I know it wouldn't make me feel any better, but maybe even worse.  On some days I can't even bare to look in the direction of his apartment it hurts so bad.  I pray that nothing happens to anyone else in my family.  I don't think that I could stand another death in my family.

Okay, on to something else before I start crying.

Rick just called me again.  He's about finished with the weed-eating.  He has a corner lot, and a very large one, so there is quite a lot of weed-eating to do.  All of his road frontage needs to be weed-eated.  The previous owner purposely created high banks all around so that vehicles wouldn't take shortcuts through his yard.  There's a small wooden railroad bridge right past Rick's house and semi tractor trailer trucks try to go over it even tho there are signs posted saying that they can't.....but they try anyway and get stuck or tear down parts of the wooden bridge in trying.  The road is so narrow that they then have to back up all the way back to Rick's and end up in Rick's ditch leaving deep ruts that Rick has to fix later.  The previous owner had his yard banked up to keep the semi trucks from backing up in his yard and tearing it all to hell.....now they just tear up the ditches.  Last week the State Road Dept closed down the old RR Bridge and put up yellow cones and lit up signs with "ROA.D CLOSED," on it.  I guess they decided not to fix the bridge anymore and are going to make a new road somewhere else.  That's what I read online.

Well Jybow is crying for me outside so I better go out there and pet her for a while and give her some attention.  She's my old cat and needs lots of attention.  She minds Rick really well, but from me she wants attention and some love and hugs.

 

The many colors of my grandson Brandon, and his brother Doug

 Brandon has always had such beautiful auburn hair, but as a teenager he loved to change the color of his hair.  It's been jet black followed by  a rainbow of color.  He's always been a good kid, but of course he's in his 20's now, so I can't exactly call him a kid anymore, but he's still a good person.  Make your dad proud Brandon!

I was going to just post pictures of Brandon with his colorful hair, but then I thought it wouldn't be fair not to post some pictures of his older brother Doug too.  So here they are, two of my four grandson's, Brandon and Doug Hatcher.

Brandon's natural hair color (Brandon on the right)

Rhododendrons.....Remembering Brian & Our Neighbors, The Holt's

My Rhododendron bush blossoms are just beginning to open up and one bush is further along than the other.  Here are some pictures of the bush that is blooming at the moment.  The other bush is still in the bud stage, but the buds are beginning to open, as I already said.  I think that they are so pretty and my only wish is that the blooms would last all summer.

It has been raining all morning, so the blossoms are wet, but I think they look pretty with raindrops all over them.  The sun has just popped out and it is supposed to be a warm day today, 75 degrees F.

As I gaze at the beauty of these flowers, I can't help but think of my son Brian, who loved flowers so much and how he would have loved to have seen these.  I can just imagine that he would have wanted to pick some of the large clusters of flowers, put them in water, and give them to Reva.  His thoughts were always of how she would love the flowers that he would give her.  He was such a romantic, and we all miss him so much.  To be honest, he had a stubborn streak like me too, but we don't miss that.  I had to smile when I thought of that too.  Just thinking of Brian makes me smile and feel sad at the same time.

 My thoughts are also drawn to my neighbors large Rhododendron which always blooms before mine.  It has never failed to be in full bloom before mine, except for this year.  They both passed away and I'm reminded of the year that Jimmy died when none of our flowers bloomed the following Spring, and Juanita and Blonde Holt both passed away last year and their flowers are not blooming this Spring either.    

Today was a good day for a drive

Living a stressful life

I feel much better today, but I'm worried about my son Brian.  One of his medications, or maybe two of them make him dizzy enough to fall.  He doesn't know which one it is, but is narrowing it down by process of elimination, but of course he can't eliminate all of his medicines at one time and introduce each one separately, because he needs to take them all daily.  

Brian has taken many falls in the last few weeks, but yesterday one of his falls caused him to feel numb from the waist down.  He didn't mind that too much because the numbness caused him to feel no pain, and he is seldom without pain.  But then he called me last night and left me a voice message that said that he had fallen again and this time hit his head really hard and if something wasn't right with him today that I would know it was caused by the fall.  I tried to call him back, but his phone is not working right and goes straight to voice mail.  I didn't have any way of going over to check on him last night so I'm hoping that he will call me back this morning sometime.  Later I'll go and check on him.  He likes to sleep in so I don't want to wake him.  I'm sure that he will call me and if he doesn't then I will make it a point to get my butt in gear and get over to check on him.

I have been experiencing not being able to answer his calls when his cell phone rings in.  Just as soon as I answer the call, the call gets cut off.  He may have damaged his phone during one of his falls.  I don't think he knows it, but at least he can leave me voice messages.  When I try to call him back I go straight to his voice mail which is not set up yet.  I have left him many text messages, but I'm not sure he is reading them.

Anyway, as far as Rick goes I'm not worried or upset about that.  That's just how he is and always has been.  I can't ever seem to get used to his bad behavior and on some days his insults bother me more than on other days.  Yesterday was just one of those days.

Snow Yesterday

We got about 3 1/2 inches of snow yesterday.  It's all the snow that we have gotten this winter.  We've had a fairly warm winter this year and me and my pocket book have liked that.  The utility bills have been lower and I have been able to save a little money.  Also, Rick & I were sick for about 3 weeks, so we didn't get out much, again saving us a little more money.  When you stay at home you don't burn gasoline nor spend money eating out.  Last month was a good month for me all around.

The snow was wet and pretty sticking to all the branches of trees, bushes and electric lines.  I like a wet snow, but I'm glad that it wasn't any more than it was because any more would break down power lines and trees.  

Below are more pictures that Rick took of the snow.  I took the picture above.

This last picture was taken through the window.  That's Rick's truck there.

Brian seems to be doing really well.  His partially amputated big toe is healing nicely and has pinked up really well, meaning there is an ample supple of blood flow to his foot.  The stents he had put in both legs worked well, and we are all glad of that, especially Brian.  I'm no longer worried about him.  He is doing very well emotionally as well as physically.  He pays all of his bills on time and is even paying off an old debt to the city of Berea Utility Co. for an old debt which was left unpaid when he and Reva moved away from Berea.  I'm really proud of him for all that he has accomplished since he moved back here in November 2019.  He's come a long way.

New Year's Eve 2019

Tomorrow will be the first day of 2020.  I never thought I'd see 2020 in my lifetime.  In 1957 it seemed like a year in the very distant future.  We've gone far beyond any science fiction movie that I ever saw in those days.  Granted we don't see flying saucers and travel in outer space on a regular basis, but other than that we are far beyond what I could ever had imagined.

Rick and I are doing great.  He came back a changed man, not that I didn't like who he was, but there were certain facets of his personality that were hard for me to take.  I have also changed and I have learned to tolerate more.  I no longer take things so seriously.  Rick kids and pokes fun a lot and I needed to just accept those things as the way Rick tries to make me laugh.  He doesn't mean to hurt me.  He just has a hard time controlling his mouth, but he really is trying to control it more now that he is back.  

Rick has also started expressing his feelings for me more.  He makes sure that I don't doubt his feelings for me anymore.  He uses the "Love" word more now and it still sounds strange hearing it coming out of his mouth, but I love hearing him tell me that he loves me anyway.  That was something that he rarely ever said to me before.

Rick is still possessive and controlling, but I can put up with that.  He still won't let me go see Brian whenever I want to go, but that will change in time once he sees that Brian is no threat to him.

So 2020 is starting out good, but I'll let you know more in 2020.  We'll see how it all goes.

It was a very, Merry Christmas this year

Dear Diary,  We had a very good Christmas.  We didn't exchange gifts, but we did have a very good Christmas dinner.  Rick and I invited Tommy & Brian over,  but Tommy didn't make it, so it was just the 3 of us.  We had a good visit with Brian, but had to call it a day around 2:30 p.m. or so,  because of a previous engagement with Harold & Callie.  That visit was good too.  While there we ate desserts and it was also Kathy's birthday.  She was born on Christmas day.  All in all it was a very good day for all of us, especially for Rick & I. 

Brian brought his new phone with him, but I was not able to set it up for him.  I just don't know how to do those things as I have always relied on AT&T to set up my cell phone for me.  Besides I tried calling the company who made Brian's phone but they were out for the holidays.  So Brian is without a cell phone for the moment.  He's going to try to get the young man at the electronic department of Walmart to set up his new phone if he will do it.  When Brian got his new phone the young man was off for the holidays and nobody there at Walmart knew how to set up a cell phone.  I hope Brian gets all of this straightened out.

On our way to Harold & Callie's we stopped by Tommy's apartment and gave him a very large plate of food and another container with pumpkin pie w/whipped topping and some dinner rolls.  I know he ate good last night!

Please pray for my son

I was right in asking for prayer in an earlier post for my son, because now he's very ill.  He has been admitted to the hospital about 3-4 times this year, and it's not far fetched to say that they won't admit him again sometime in the very near future.  He has so many health problems and has to take a handful of medications for breakfast.  That alone would make me sick, but he hasn't been eating right and has also been losing weight, but losing it slowly so that his doctor is not concerned with the weight loss.  Last week he fell in the bathroom, lost his balance and fell on the side of the tub.  He hurt his ribs, but the doctor is also not concerned about the ribs although my son is in great pain.  His current problem is that he is continuously vomiting and can't hold anything down.  He's in a lot of pain because of his sore ribs....so much pain that he is shaking tremendously and refuses to go to the ER, so prayer is all that we can offer him at this point.

UPDATE 12-16-19:  My son was admitted to the hospital the afternoon that I wrote the above.  He is very sick and being treated for a number of problems.  Continued prayer is requested.

It's very hard to love someone who won't let you love them

Rick stopped by this evening to get some of his stuff and said that he would be back when it warms up to get the rest of his stuff.  He is leaving me and he wants me to pay him for half of the boat we bought together and half for the trailer too, but I told him that he could have the boat and sell it for more than I would be able to give him for the boat and the trailer combined.

I asked him why he was leaving me when all that I did was to take the Saturn yesterday because it is the only vehicle that has a trailer hitch on it and I needed it to haul the couch for Brian since he didn't want to do it.   He said he was leaving so that now I could go be with Brian.  That didn't make any sense to me.  I responded with, "Brian is my son, I want to be with you!" but that didn't matter to Rick.  Rick has decided to leave me because he thinks I am choosing my son over him.  I tried to tell him that there is no comparison between the two of them.  One is my son and the other is the person that I want to be with and love.  Rick doesn't have any children and doesn't understand that I can love him and Brian too, but in different ways.  I can't make Rick stay, and I can't force him to love me.  Only he can do that.  It's very hard to love someone who won't let you love them.  That's the way Rick and my relationship have been for a very long time.  Rick pushes me away every chance that he can and it hurts....but he thinks it's funny and a game that he plays.   

Rick blames me for Brian's arrival.  I had absolutely no control over the circumstances of my son showing up at my doorstep with nowhere to go.  I did what any mother would do and welcomed him in to stay until he could find his own place.   That took 3 weeks and now he has his own place.  This is the first time since Brian was 20 yrs. old that he has been alone, without his wife and children around, so he is very emotional and understandably depressed.  He needs me to comfort him and give him some emotional support during this very difficult time in his life.  I think anyone could understand that, but for some reason Rick doesn't understand any of it.

I am also guilty of blaming Brian for Rick & my breakup, but I know that Brian didn't cause it and in reality I think that Rick just used it as an excuse to leave again.  He was probably already on the verge of leaving and Brian became just the excuse that he needed, or why would anyone leave the person that they supposedly love just because one of their children shows up on their doorstep?  Rick left me for 3 weeks while Brian was here and then returned, but why did he return if he was planning on leaving me again?  It just doesn't make sense to me.  Maybe this is how it was meant to be.  I have always believed that things happen for a reason.  That God is in control of our destiny and our lives to some extent.  I just wonder what God has in store for me now, and for Brian and for Rick as well.  I hope we all do well eventually, but it will take time for Brian & I to heal.  Since Rick made the decision to leave, he is feeling no pain and his heart is not broken like ours, so he will be fine.  I just need to make up my mind that this is how it is going to be, that Rick is not coming back.   It's over........         

Adrenaline fueled anger gave me super strength

Rick is gone again, he didn't come home last night.  I don't know if it's just for a day or forever this time.  Yesterday morning he told my son that he would help him haul a couch if he found one, and my son found one pretty quickly, so we called Rick for help.  By the time I got home he was upset at having to haul the couch and we had words.  I finally stormed out of the house telling Rick not to worry or bother about the couch, that I would take care of getting the couch to where it was to go myself.  I guess he laughed at that under his breath because it was going to take both Rick and his brother to move it, and of course they were not going to do it for free, but at a cost, which Brian was very willing to pay.  In the end it cost Brian nothing, because I moved it and family helps family.

I have never pulled a trailer, but yesterday I had no choice.  I have a Reese hitch on the back of my Saturn and I have a trailer and I've watched Rick connect the two, so that's what I did.  It wasn't easy, but with the help of a hammer I got it done.  There was nobody here to help me and believe me I called for help but everyone was at work, so it left it all up to me.  My son wasn't here so I drove to where he was and off to Goodwill we went. Goodwill employees were nice enough to load the sectional couch onto the trailer and I secured it with straps.  I did have to stop along the way to secure another strap to the sectional, but we made it and then I unloaded it, and believe me that wasn't an easy task for just me.

My son is disabled and is not able to lift anything, so he couldn't help me.  He was so exhausted just by the trip and the morning activities that he had to go inside and rest.  I tugged, dragged and lifted up that sectional as best as I could.  I got the smaller part in and in place, but the larger part was a little more difficult.  A young man who happened  to see me struggling with that sectional offered to help me get it into the door.  I sure did appreciate his help especially when we had to turn the couch sideways to get it to fit into the door.  After I thanked the young man I went out and brought all of the couch cushions inside and put them in place.  My son kept insisting that I sit down and rest, but my adrenaline had kicked in and I couldn't stop until the job was completed.  I knew if I stopped that I probably wouldn't get back up.  I was afraid that I would be really sore this morning, but I'm not to my surprise.

Here are a couple pictures of the sectional and I'm really thankful that it didn't have recliners at each end, or I might not be walking or able to stand this morning.

Things I've learned this year

I'll be glad when the holidays are over....

It's Sunday and I heard on the news this morning that we got some snow flurries during the night, but there is no sign of snow or rain this morning.  

Brian got his hair cut yesterday and he looks so much neater now.

He still misses Reva, and I miss Rick.  We keep ourselves amused by watching movies, napping and playing cards.  We did make a trip to Kroger's to buy some of those mini taquitos, the ones that look like miniature tacos, but they're all gone now.  I hadn't been in that store for years.  Their parking lot is just too crowded for comfort.  Apparently it's a popular store.

Did I mention that on Friday Brian got his drivers license renewed. He had let it lapse so he had to take the written test again.  No problem, he passed it with flying colors.

Thanksgiving is Thursday but I don't feel much like celebrating under the circumstances.  I know that this will be the very first and only Thanksgiving that Brian & Reva will be apart.  And I am assuming that Rick won't ask to spend Thanksgiving with me either.  All I can say is, it's their loss.  I'll be glad when the holidays are over.  There's just too much stress involved with the holidays and especially when you are separated from the people that you love.   

Everything is fine between us

He explained to me why he had to leave and I explained to him why he should have stayed, but in the end there was never any problems between the two of us.  We both were upset at the cards that had been dealt to us by surprise.  We are calmer now and know that we will be together soon.  In the meantime he is enjoying some freedom and I am enjoying spending time with my son.   I know that things will never be the same again between us, but maybe they will actually be better.  Maybe we'll have more respect for each other and what each of us have brought to the relationship.  I sure hope so.  

things have settled down

Things have settled down here at home.  Brian & I are having lots of good conversations, watching movies and playing cards.  He does a lot of reminiscing and brings up past events that I had long forgotten.  It's nice to be reminded that I was once a good mother.  I had forgotten that.  And it's also nice knowing what events in my son's past meant so much to him.  Little things we did are so well remembered by him and left quite an impression on him too.  Thankfully they were good impressions.  

Brian has also been very helpful here.  He repaired one of my favorite little Christmas ornaments without me even asking him to do.  He washes dishes and puts things away.  He's much like me in that respect.  I always say, "Everything has a home, so put it back where you found it,  so we can find it the next time we need it."  We've also done a lot of running around and he stays on his feet all day long most days.  There's no slouching around allowed here, and mornings for him begin around 7:00 a.m.  I'm impressed at how well my son is doing considering that he just had part of his big toe removed the day before he arrived here.  He changes his own dressings daily and is faithfully taking his antibiotics.

The lines of communication are now open between Rick and I too, but he still refuses to come back.  He's not planning on staying away tho, and misses being here, but he's stubborn and set in his ways.  Brian says Rick is spoiled and that I have spoiled him.  I agree with that because that's just the way I am.  If you love someone, you show it so they don't have any doubts about how you feel about them.  You treat them as you would like to be treated yourself, and I know in my heart that Rick loves me, and when things settle down and get back to normal that he will be back here.  He just can't handle all this chaos. 

     

Feeling Christmasy

I'm torn between feeling very Christmasy and cheerful,  able to spend time with my son, and feeling like I have been abandoned once again.  I shouldn't have to be feeling this way.  Rick should have stayed here with me when Brian showed up unannounced at my door needing a place to stay, but Rick chose to leave.  I remember years ago when Jimmy was alive that Brian needed a place to heal after his hip surgery and Jimmy welcomed him to our home to recover here with open arms.  Why couldn't have Rick done the same thing?  Rick made me feel like I had to choose between him and my son, and no one should ever be put in that position.  Rick isn't mad or upset.  He just can't live with retired people who are up and down all night long, and he has a big problem with sharing of a bathroom too.  Rick's a germaphobe.

Brian is just here temporarily until he can find an apartment to rent, and to seek counseling.  Then his pretty wife said she would come join him in their new apartment.  This shouldn't take too long.

Since Rick says his absence is only temporary, I will make it a point to enjoy every moment I get with my son.  He's not in the best of health,  but it seems that with each day that he is here he is feeling better and he definitely is more active.  He's not sitting around here moping,  and is making plans with me to get out and exercise more.  I'm looking forward to that and besides walking the college track, we might even join a gym.  There's one here that is open 24/7, making it possible to go whenever we feel like it.

I'm not saying that all is good, and that we both don't miss our mates, because we do.  We have our sad moments, but at least we have each other to talk to.  We are both experiencing similar circumstances at the same time, so we understand how we both are feeling to some degree.

On a more cheerful note, I have taught Brian how to play Rummy and he is getting so good that he is winning more and more.  Of course, I'm not that great at Rummy myself, but I try.

I bought my cats a heated cat house.  It will protect them from the frigid winter cold.  It's thick padded walls will protect my babies from the cold frigid winter winds and blowing snow and rain.  It's large enough for all three of my fur babies and the cats jumped in it right away.  It's roomy and has two doors so that they can escape if they feel threatened.  I temporarily removed the plastic doors so that they could get used to it  

first, but I'm reattaching them
just as soon as it gets colder. 

I love pampering my fur babies and keeping them warm and safe, and I do love their new home.  I ordered it on Friday afternoon and it arrived by 2:00 p.m. on Saturday.....talk about quick delivery.  The shipping was free too.