Monday, December 03, 2007

Redneck Morning

This morning is a redneck morning. My friends & relatives are sending me redneck stuff. I wonder if they think I’m a redneck??? Below is a joke written along the lines of all the Redneck & Hillbilly jokes of the South and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen a California joke of this nature. And being from California myself I could have added a few more lines of my own, but being that I wasn’t the original author; I won’t add or subtract anything.

You know you're from California if:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower

5. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy sitting in Starbucks at 8:30 a.m. wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . .. is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or Ipods.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

This next redneck writing is a little different than the usual redneck jokes that everyone has heard or read of in the past. It’s not a joke. This one is more on the serious side, and one I received from my good friend Rachel, who passed this along to her good redneck friend, me…and I’m passing it along to all of you. It expresses how I believe.

You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to
be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God."

You might be a redneck if: You've never protested
about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a redneck if: You still say " Christmas"
instead of "Winter Festival."

You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when
someone prays.

You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your
hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a redneck if: You treat Viet Nam & Iraq war vets
with great respect, and always have.

You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an
American flag.

You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe
and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and
expect your kids to do the same.

You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar
to a friend.


JunieRose2005 said...

I liked these!

...and -yes- I think I AM a redneck!


Paige said...

Just call me one your many redneck cousins

PEA said...

Can a Canadian be a redneck??? lol I had to laugh at the California one about having the Terminator as the governor...who would have thought! lol But then you had an actor as President! hehe Loved both of these, thanks for sharing them, Sandy!! xox

Granny Annie said...


Susan said...

ditto, love these! Thanks for sharing.

Rachel said...

I'm a KY redneck!!

Jamie Dawn said...

Did someone say "pot?"
Coool, man!

I'm proud to be a redneck!!

Cute post.

sheoflittlebrain said...

I'm here via Granny this post, and By Golly I just found out that I'm a standing tall, for sure American Redneck!

Kerri said...

One Nation, under God, for sure. Good to see so many Rednecks all here in one place :) Good to be one of them! :)
Love this one Sandy and the California one is great too.
Like the Terminator, "I'll be back!" I know, he didn't say that in Terminator....but I think it's his most famous line :)

Changes in the wind is said...

Rednecks rule!