1* I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.
2* There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
3* Life is sexually transmitted.
4* Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
5* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
6* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
hospitals dying of nothing.
7* Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no
one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
8* Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9* All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.
10* In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..
11* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?
12* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think
I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'
13* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song
14* Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if
they are going to look up there anyway?
15* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
16* If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
17* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
18* Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
19* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
20* Do you ever wonder why you read my blog?
The above were taken from a forwarded email from my Aunt Virginia.