1* I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. 2* There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. 3* Life is sexually transmitted. 4* Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. 5* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 6* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. 7* Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? 8* Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. 9* All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. 10* In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.. 11* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? 12* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?' 13* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? 14* Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? 15* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 16* If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 17* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? 18* Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? 19* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 20* Do you ever wonder why you read my blog? The above were taken from a forwarded email from my Aunt Virginia. |
"If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy."
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Ponder these...
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2 comments:
LOL-
I liked all that funny stuff! Also- your pond is very pretty-prettier than mine and I'm jealous!!
Junie
very funny ,thanks for the laugh
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