Tuesday, November 17, 2015
I have fun when I'm involved in doing things and going places with my friends, but when I'm alone, I feel very alone and sad. I still mourn for Jimmy and I still flee the house just as soon as I'm showered and dressed in the mornings. I drive aimlessly listening to music, and when I get bored with driving I get out and walk laps on the college track. Last night after dark I walked laps around Berea Community School because the college track was occupied by the track team. I waited until most of the team left and then I crossed the road and walked laps on the Berea College track too. After that I drove south on I-75 until I reached exit 49. There gas is $1.85 per gallon, and even tho I didn't need gas, I topped off my tank and drove back to Berea. There I again circled McDonald's looking for someone familiar, but no one was there. I haven't been stopping at McDonald's for a few months now, but last night I felt the need to see a familiar face, just someone to talk to about anything except the way I am feeling. I needed someone to take my mind off this sadness that overwhelms me. I even thought about coming home and breaking out the paints that Gigi & Ron had packed up so nicely for me. I know that I need a hobby and something to occupy my mind, but I just can't get interested in anything.