I've been selfish

I think I have this all wrong.  I should be praying for my son to heal from his own heartbreak, loneliness and depression, instead of worrying about myself and what I am going through with Rick.  If God will heal my son, then all will be alright.  I will no longer worry about him and cater to his emotional state.  We can have a normal mother and son relationship, spending holidays together, playing cards or just plain visiting from time to time, and he will find happiness eventually.  And if Rick stays, he won't feel so threatened by my son, and he will have his privacy back.  But if Rick chooses to leave, then I will just have to accept that and move on.  There's nothing else that I can do.  I only have control over my own life and, not Rick's or my son's life.