Here I am again. I used to get excited about writing posts, but I don't have the same enthusiasm that I once had about writing. I used to be happy and excited about life and looked forward to each new day, but I no longer feel that way. I dread each new day knowing that it is going to be exactly as it was the day before, with me waking up to the same old thing. I guess you could say that I'm depressed, but I really hate to use that word because I could change it all if I really wanted to. I've been put down and ridiculed so much that there is no happiness in my life other than hearing from my children.
Living with a bully is not something that I would recommend to anyone. I thought that I could change him over to seeing the world in a better light, but he's too set in his ways. He's too controlling and he tries to separate me from my family by not speaking to me and getting mad each time I try to spend time with my family, especially with my son. He doesn't realize that he is just pushing me further and further away from him, but I actually don't think that he really cares.
I'm not a person who gives up easily and quits, so I will continue to try to be nice to him, and maybe someday he will think back on this time and realize that he messed up a really good thing.....or maybe Karma will pay him back by making his next partner treat him the same way that he has treated me. I bet he won't like that one bit.
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