Wishful Thinking

I realize now that Facebook is not a place to air my feelings because they elicit sympathy, and that's not what I want.  I only want to explain how I am feeling.  I have fallen deeply in love four times in my entire life and I have not made the right choice in men 75% of the time.  That means that I only have had one successful and truly happy relationship in my life.  The other three were one sided....I loved them with all my heart, but they didn't love me enough.  Those three were unfaithful to me and two left me.

At this moment I am very sad and somewhat depressed.  I try to fill my days with activities like spending time with girl friends, but I am always aware that I am alone, that someone I loved with all my heart left me.  The hurt is unbearable at times when I am left alone with my thoughts.  I am a nice person, and I loved this other person with all my heart.  I gave him everything, but it apparently wasn't enough for him.  He left me anyway.  He'll never know how much I really loved him.  I hope that someday he will turn around and say to someone, "she really did love me, and I'm sorry that I broke her heart.  She was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I shouldn't have ever left her."

A hurt that took years to forget...

On Monday Jimmy & I were in the car on our way to get something to eat, when this song started playing on the radio. It's a beautiful song, that is now being sung by Carrie Underwood and it has lots of meaning to me. It reminded me of days gone by in early 1994 after I had started dating Jimmy, My old boyfriend, which I will just refer to as "D" after repeated attempts to see me, stopped my jeep on the street, apologized for what he had done, said he made a big mistake and was sorry and wanted me back. This song best signifies how I felt about him.......I Told You So
as sung by Carrie Underwood.