I shut myself off from everyone who loved me when my husband Jimmy died, and only allowed myself to befriend strangers who knew nothing of Jimmy. I couldn't bear to be around anyone who reminded me of what I had lost, so I created a brand new life for myself with new people.
I wasn't fortunate enough to be able to move away from the house that we shared, but at one time I got really close to buying a new home and moving away from all the memories we shared. I've stopped running and I do spend a lot of time at home these days, and believe it or not, I am trying to make some improvements around this house.
Only someone who has lost a loved one can understand how I felt and how I still feel over such a great loss. I wish I could go back to a time when I felt nothing but happiness everyday. It was easy with Jimmy. He was an easy person to get along with and he loved me unconditionally, as much as I loved him.
I have very good memories of those days spent with him, but I'm still feeling the loss so immensely that I can't move on with anyone else.