Today on Rick's way out to go visit friends at McDonald's he was accusatory towards me. He told me that I should go pick up someone to keep me company. That hurt me very much since we have been getting along pretty well these last couple of days.
I noticed that on his calendar, that on Dec. 11th he wrote the word "CEAK." What does that mean? Is this the name of someone he has met? Nothing else is written on his calendar except these letters, so I wrote for today the name "Wallace" on todays date. I wonder if he will notice and should I be worried. He'd rather spend all of his time hanging out at McDonald's than with me. He sits in there all day long and then he complains about his back hurting. My back would hurt too if I sat in there for 8 to 12 hours a day too. I know that at times that both he and his brother Tommy go over to Tommy's apartment and watch TV until 10 p.m. after the 8 hrs. Oh well, if that is what he wants, then there is nothing that I can do about it.
Rick has been complaining about the money that I spent on food last month which ended up feeding Brian because Rick left me of his own free will. Now he says that he won't spend anymore money on food anymore. He is eating out now and if that is not spending money then I don't know what is because I was the one who paid for the groceries in the first place. Rick only contributed 3 times on groceries in the 3 years he has been here. So if he doesn't want to spend anymore money on groceries here, then that is fine with me, since he didn't spend much anyway. He is spending more now by eating out, so today when he asked me what we were going to do about eating and suggested that he might get a cheeseburger before he came home, I agreed with him and told him to get that cheeseburger. Last night he brought home a $6 pizza from Little Caesars, which I helped him eat. The more he spends maybe the more he will stop and think of all the money that I have been out feeding him. He always insisted on going shopping with me and we bought all the things that he liked to eat. While Brian was here, Brian went shopping and he bought all the things that I like to eat, which I haven't eaten in the years since Rick has been here.
Today I'm feeling down because Rick doesn't want to spend any time with me. He'd rather spend his time with strangers than with me. I really don't know why he is still here? I don't know why he comes back here every night to sleep, when he complains constantly about the conditions of my house. My home is my home and it's not the newest and prettiest house, but it is clean and it is my home. Rick likes nice things, and he is always telling me so, but why doesn't he have nice things or a nice home of his own. He has a small room without water or a bathroom or even electricity. His electric comes in by a long extension cord from an old falling down single wide trailer. So for him to complain to me that my home is not nice enough for him is an understatement. He may own two pieces of property, but neither of them is as nice as my house.
I may not have much, but Jimmy and I were happy here. Jimmy was an angel compared to Rick. I can clearly see why Rick has never had anyone in his life for very long. He's a bully and very mean spirited. He will cut you down at every opportunity and laugh about it. I wonder who will have the last laugh, me or him?
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