Monday, May 30, 2016

I will not allow him to hurt me anymore

Informing an old unfaithful boyfriend that things are not the same anymore can be difficult to do, especially since he thinks he did nothing wrong and says that I should quit bringing it up because, it's in the past.  It may be in the past to him, but to my knowledge it happened on two separate occasions with two different women, and it was during the time when we were supposed to have been together.  So that isn't far enough in the past for me.  The way he thinks, if it happened yesterday, it's in the past.......He might as well say that if it happened in a different area code it doesn't count.  Makes about as much sense to me as that.

Anyway, I was telling him that I don't feel the same about him anymore.  That things in our relationship have changed and I have changed.  I still love him, but I can't trust him, and my feelings are different now even tho I still can't let go of him.  I'm hoping that eventually he will just stop calling me altogether.  He has already stopped coming over to see me and I did the same long ago.  I refuse to drop in to visit him anymore since I found out about his trip to Virginia with an old girlfriend.  He said that it shouldn't matter to me because it didn't work out for them, and that he came back to me.  Well, it does matter to me.  I won't be anyone's second choice and that is what I am to him.  He is only with me until something better comes along and he's gone again.  That's not the kind of relationship I deserve.  I deserve better.   He says he loves me, but he doesn't know what love really is.  

The phone calls are all that are left with an occasional visit now and then from him.   One of these days he will notice that I don't ever visit him, call him or am available, and then maybe then he will stop calling me altogether and maybe one day realize that he lost something that was very precious to him, Me.  I seriously doubt that he will ever think that way about me, or he wouldn't have ever stepped out on me in the first place.   

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