Glad it's over.......

Well today was the big day, and it was better than I had expected.  I was surprised at all of the people who wished me a Happy Birthday and by the funny videos that my daughter Sharon sent to me.  If I knew how to post them here, I would, but I don't.  I did post them on Facebook tho.

The celebration started, as I have already mentioned in a previous post, on Friday with my son Brian and his family.  We went to a Mexican Restaurant, and today Suzanne & Carson took me to a different Mexican Restaurant.  I think Carson wanted to see me get smeared with whipped cream again, but I ducked away from the waiter and told him no.  The waiter then went after Carson and he got smeared with the whipped cream.  Carson thought it was funny and so did Suzanne & I.  We also had a very good time.

My early bird daughter, Sharon, as I mentioned above, sent me 3 birthday videos by 7:30 a.m.  Two of the videos were very funny and they made me laugh.  She has a knack for making funny videos and making me smile.

I took some pictures of my day today which I will post below.  Just a reminder to some of my family, who may want to post the pictures on Facebook.  I am asking you to please not post any pictures that have Suzanne in them because she hates to be put on Facebook.  If you must post some of them, just be sure to crop Suzanne out of any picture.

All in all my day was wonderful.  Since Friday I have felt more normal than I have felt in several years now.  I think my life is finally making a turn for the best.  I am finally getting over my grief and ready to live again.

I also visited the cabin later this afternoon before I came home.  It has all grown into a jungle out there.  I don't visit there very often, maybe once a year or so.  I was curious to see if the pond had dried up because of the drought, but it hasn't.  It's Spring fed and the pond level never drops, but of course we haven't ever been without rain for this length of time.  I was surprised to see that it wasn't covered in moss either.  The neighbor must be treating the pond because I saw his small boat parked on the pond bank on his side of the pond.  

Here are some of the pictures that I took today.

The Weekend

Good Morning

I'm feeling much better today and a little more optimistic about things in general and about my friendship with Rick.  Even tho we bicker and argue, the arguments don't last long anymore.  I'm still hearing lectures about my driving and how I don't pay attention as I should to the traffic around me, and how I'm going to get myself killed if I don't start paying more attention.  All that is well and good advice, and I know that to be true, so I'm not being stubborn and arguing back.  I'm listening to Rick, to Suzanne and to the warnings that I've been getting from a higher power that maybe I should either stop riding or start paying more attention to what I'm doing.

I recently got upset at Rick because he didn't ask if I was okay after the SUV slammed into me.  Well why would he? He was there and saw that I was fine, but that my bike wasn't, so of course he would say something about it.  It was brought to my attention that some people once they see that you are okay, will react like Rick did, and that's how they show concern for your safety and well-being.  I have no doubts about how Rick feels about me.  He has to feel something stronger than just pure friendship or he wouldn't put up with my stubbornness, and I can be pretty stubborn and hard headed at times.

Hot and Sunny

Today Rick & I went out riding our mopeds and along the way we stopped and asked Tommy to come along and ride with us.  We all had a very enjoyable ride.  We rode to Richmond, Ky. from Berea, taking the back country roads, and we ended up at the closest McDonald's in Richmond to I-75.  While there we redeemed three coupons each for a Free Quarter Pounder w/cheese, and we drank water, so our meals only cost us the amount we paid for an order of large fries that we split between Rick & I.  We lingered around there for about 2 hours before starting our ride back home.

All in all we had a wonderful day.  I'm home now and I'm very tired.  Rick and Tommy stopped to chat with friends at our local McDonald's, but I came on home so that I could spend some time exchanging text messages with Carson, Suzanne and with my friend Gail.  

Fun

THIS PAST WEEKEND

 That outside 20 foot long 6 x 6 inch treated post

 fell on Rick last Saturday while they were

trying to put it up in place.

 OUCH!

He's really sore.

 Rick is in the second floor door in each picture.

This gives you an idea of the length of the post.

 Black buzzards in the picture above

My Azaleas are blooming right now.

They were given to us by 

Rachel of Sliding Through Life Blog

years ago.  

A GREAT WEEK IN REVIEW-ALL CHAMPS

Two Friends

On Friday I drove Steve around to pay his bills and this morning I took Steve to the grocery store to buy groceries.  The plan was to have been to drive him around so that he could find some Winter boots to buy, but his funds didn't permit that, so we abandoned that idea and bought some foot powder for his old Wolverines instead.  They are still in perfect shape for another year of wear.

Over the weekend I had fun with Rick.  We didn't do much of anything, but what we did was fun.  As friends, we always have lots of fun together, doing nothing in particular.  Rick and I get along almost as well as Jimmy and I got along, but of course, Jimmy was my husband and treated me as his wife.  Rick is much different, he's my friend, and he treats me rough....not physically, but verbally.  No one has ever talked as bad to me as Rick does, but he is only kidding and trying to make me mad and laugh at the same time.  I don't get mad very easily, but I do get my feelings hurt sometimes, and Rick knows what those things are, and knows just how to push my buttons when he wants to.  Of course, he also knows when he has gone too far and will take a step back and try to smooth things out.  He always knows what to say or do to make things right.  Life is far from dull with Rick.

That was my weekend.  Not very exciting for most people, but it was just the way I like it, minus Rick's painful back and feet from working too hard.  

My old neighbors, The Howard's, Wilma and Paul

When you give too much in a friendship

What do you do with someone who won't commit to a relationship, but they want all of the benefits of a relationship?  They will only commit to being your friend, but nothing more than friendship.  This is the dilemma that I am facing at the moment.  

I love my friend, but they don't love me, and that's fine with me.  I can't help what I feel about them, but I just wish that they wouldn't put me down or tell me that I cannot feel this way, or they will stop coming around.  What's wrong with feeling love for someone even tho they don't feel the same about you?  I really don't see the problem.  

All I want is to feel happy again

To this day I still don't know what happened between Rick and I.  We were fine one minute and not the next.  I have no idea what I did to cause him to stop talking to me, and it bothers me to no end not to know what it was that I did, so that I won't ever repeat that type of behavior again.  I miss my friend and I hate how his behavior towards me caused me to slam doors and to run off on my trike.  I came right back and wanted to talk, but he refused and left. I wanted to know what I had done to deserve this, but he wouldn't tell me.  

I still cry thinking about how good everything was between us, and I want to know why his mood changed so suddenly towards me.  We had stopped at McDonald's and that's when it all went haywire. He turned his back on me while we sat on the front bench and I knew then that he didn't want to be seen with me, afraid that someone might think that we are more than the friends that we are. Personally, this bothers me a lot and it hurts my feelings that I am not even good enough to be seen in his company.  It's like he is ashamed of me.  Of course I can't tell anyone how I feel about this, because it's my problem and my own personal hurt.  I just accept it like a good little trooper and pretend that we didn't arrive together or leave together.  Heaven forbid that anyone should think that we are more than friends, but that's all we are.....just friends, and if nobody wants to believe this, then it is not my problem.  I can't control how people think, but God knows that we are only good friends, and He is all that counts.

I wish I could stop crying about Rick, but I can't.  It's still like an open sore that won't heal up.  I haven't gone anywhere since he drove away and have locked myself in the house away from everything and everyone.  I won't call him because I won't beg for his friendship.  That has to come freely on its own.  I wasn't the one that left without an explanation only saying that we needed a few days apart.  And I wasn't the one that hurt him and made him cry.  I didn't do anything but react to his behavior, but when I react, I do react badly.  Of that I am guilty of and only of that!

I try to treat everyone nice, just like I would like them to treat me.  I'm a good person and the last thing that I want to do is to hurt anyone.  I know from past experiences how it feels to be hurt, to suffer heartache and loss, and that's the one thing that I would not wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy.

All I want is an explanation and then he can go away if that is what he really wants to do.  I'm too insecure for anything less, and I refuse to be treated badly.  If I have done something to offend, then I also deserve to know what it was that I did, so that I won't make that mistake again.       

Our trip to buy fireworks on July 2nd