There have been so many deaths of loved ones and friends all within the last two to three weeks, and it has put me in a semi-depressive state of mind. I've gone back to feeling those same feelings of loss. Those feelings of when I lost those closest to me, and everyday I think of them again with those same feelings of a broken heart, and a deep sense of loss.
I'd list their names, but I'm afraid that I would forget someone, or leave someone important out, and I sure don't want to do that.
I have cried for the last two days, knowing the loss and heartache that the one left behind is feeling. And I have also cried for a friend of mine who is about to lose her husband to that dreaded disease of cancer. She may not lose him today or next year, but it's almost inevitable with someone suffering with Stage 4 cancer. No one has said that it is Stage 4; this is just an educated guess when they announced that he had colon, liver and lung cancers all at the same time. I'm hoping that they are wrong, but still they both have a fight on their hands. I'm sure it's extremely tough on him, and I know that she will try to be the strong one and hold her feelings in as she takes good care of him, but I know what's in store for her, and I know that even tho she knows he will be leaving her, you are still not prepared no matter how much people say, "at least you had time to say your goodbyes and were prepared for his death." NO! It still comes as a shock, and even tho you know he is no longer suffering, you still miss him and your heart is breaking beyond any feeling that you've ever felt.
At the funeral or memorial service people walk up to you and tell you that things will get better, that he is in a better place, but that doesn't make things any better. I had one woman walk up to me and say, "no matter what people are telling you, things are going to get much worse and you are going to miss him more with each day. It doesn't get better. You just learn to live with the pain, the heartache." That is so true.
When I lost my husband I lost my whole family. I didn't know how to grieve and just put myself into a cocoon, and stayed away from everyone. I tried to only be around strangers, so that I could forget and put the pain behind me, but in the long run that didn't work at all. In the end I had to grieve and that only made the grieving process last much longer, and my great-grandchildren in the meantime grew older without really getting to know me. We all grieve differently, but we all grieve.
When ambulances pass my house I can't help but shed a few tears for whoever needs the ambulance and I say a prayer for them and for their families. I pray all day sometimes off and on. I pray everyday and grieving has brought me much closer to Jesus, and to my God.
I'm especially praying for Bubby and for Betty. They have a hard fight with cancer ahead of them both. A cancer diagnosis involves the whole family, so my prayers will be directed at all of them.
R.I.P. my sweet Jybow. She was Jimmy’s buddy and now they can be together again. Jybow never stopped waiting at the door for Jimmy to come out, but now her wait is over.
Jimmy loved Jybow and kept her close to him. She slept between the buttons of his flannel shirts, she was that small and needed much attention. She came to us as a sick little cat with crusted over sore eyes, needing a bath desperately and de-fleaing.
After being here a week she looked much better and seemed to love being the center of our attention. She was a very smart kitten and learned how to fetch right away. I loved eating Smarties candies and I would roll up all of my Smarty paper wrappers into small balls and Jybow and I would play with them on the bed. I would toss them over to her and she would swat them back to me, but one day the smartie ball fell on the floor and she quickly jumped off the bed to retrieve it, so that we could continue to play. It was then that I decided to start slowly throwing the smartie balls a little farther and farther each time and Jybow would always fetch them back to the bed so that we could continue to play. It wasn't long that I was throwing the balls across the bedroom, thru the living room and passed the hallway and into the far bedroom. She always hunted the smartie balls down and brought them back to me. That's how the fetching got started and soon after that I could toss one of PJ's stuffed little monkeys the same way and she would fetch it back to me or to Jimmy.
Jybow became more like a dog. She followed Jimmy everywhere and stuck to him like glue. They became inseparable. She didn't like using a little box so Jimmy would let her out whenever she asked. Jimmy often laughed and said that he felt like a doorman for Jybow, always letting her in and out. She never had an accident inside and when we thought that we would be gone for an extended amount of time we would put her outside. She loved being outside, so she didn't mind at all but was always there waiting to greet us when we came back home.
Jybow was a very happy cat full of life. I fed her only dry cat food and she seemed very satisfied with that until one day after a trip, my daughter Suzanne told me that Jybow loved chicken sandwiches. I told her that Jybow wouldn't eat anything but dry cat food, but Suzanne proved me wrong. For Suzanne she would gladly share a sandwich with Suzanne. Jybow continued to eat dry cat food until about a year ago when I discovered that she had lost some of her teeth, so I started feeding her wet cat food.
We are all very saddened by Jybow's death, especially her cat friend Squeak. Squeak didn't want to leave her side today, so we both remained with Jybow until she crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. I buried her in the backyard next to PJ, Daisy, Callie, Little Harley and HopALong.
Jybow was the oldest cat that I ever had. She remained with us for about 19-20 years. I'll really miss her.
I love you Jybow!
Delores Jean Courtney, mother of Reva, left this earth bound for Heaven on Monday August 21, 2017. She was born on September 12, 1939, and she was buried yesterday next to her husband Ronald.
Sis
